Something about me fighting insomnia is just so defeating. It's no good. After a month of being able to sleep regular hours...the Insomnia returns.
Most times the Insomnia is just a craving for my own company, sometimes its a pathetic excuse for working late..and sometimes, Im so worried I just cant sleep.
Like tonight.
I lay awake, and then finally gave up.
I am plain worried.
Worried that im doing it wrong. Not worried it won't work, I am determined to make it work, and am convinced it WILL work.
I'm worried, that it will turn out badly.
Im worried for myself. For how I am dealing with my life. For how I am dealing with Old Fart. I am worried that I am in many worlds, yet not in a specific world.
Worried that I am too far away. Worried that I will never find it.
Im the kind of worried, that I will sit at my desk til 5am, scared, and defeated, and...worried.
I will not know what to do by then, and then at 5 am, i shall go for a run, still worried.
Most times the Insomnia is just a craving for my own company, sometimes its a pathetic excuse for working late..and sometimes, Im so worried I just cant sleep.
Like tonight.
I lay awake, and then finally gave up.
I am plain worried.
Worried that im doing it wrong. Not worried it won't work, I am determined to make it work, and am convinced it WILL work.
I'm worried, that it will turn out badly.
Im worried for myself. For how I am dealing with my life. For how I am dealing with Old Fart. I am worried that I am in many worlds, yet not in a specific world.
Worried that I am too far away. Worried that I will never find it.
Im the kind of worried, that I will sit at my desk til 5am, scared, and defeated, and...worried.
I will not know what to do by then, and then at 5 am, i shall go for a run, still worried.
1 comment:
I know worry.
I feel your worry.
Perhaps, a cup of warm chai can cure worry, and it will be okay?
Try not to worry.
Worry is tiring.
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