I quit a job last year. My bravest decision till date. No, I mean brave..not adventurous, or whimsical, or jaunty. And I still get asked why someone would quit Management Consultancy, the money and the glam and whatnot other jazz. Why did I quit without "having another job in hand". How did I decide over night to do this.
I have my reasons. Much voiced to other people, much thought and brain stormed to myself, much planned, much convinced that I did the best thing ever. Yet, I am going to write this down. Five years later, or three actually.... I shall not be more "grown up" and be able to re-phrase my thought in more stylish ways. This is an honesty trip that I am on.
There are three broad areas that I had to look at, reason with, and accept or reject. The work, the people at work, and the rest of the life in relation to me.
A. The Work.
THe work itself was repetitive, took me no where, and fairly non challenging. I was becoming jack of all, master of none. I was doing market research, retail QSR, report writing, editing, drafting concepts, conducting trade surveys, formatting complicated presentations and drafting unnecessarily complicated excel sheets, traveling to meetings, talking faff, and speaking very perfect English, in an accent that always called for attention, questions etc. I wasn't sharpening any skill set, but I was a good Jack. Not good enough for me. I like to get my hands dirty, and work on things as the larger picture shows. Not as I know it. Management Consultancy. heh. not for me.
B. The People at Work.
I am not good, will never be good at people who are primarily "hindi speaking" but speak English, people who are from Delhi, and people who are consumeristic and ....consumeristic. I am ok with people who speak Hindi.... I am one-way ok with Hindi. I cannot tolerate the Hindi Speaking Wannabe. I am not ok having to prove my mettle with the clothes I wear. I felt stifled , and tired, of well.... everything they did. Having an ex boyfriend in the same floor made it so much worse. I remember certain days feeling defeated, sad and irked for no obvious reason.
C. The Rest of my Life.
Apart from the money, I had nothing going. Delhi was much too much for me to deal with, the stuff I did seems bizarre!! to my family, I wasnt making only one happy, I wasn't a part of anyones life...not my friends in delhi, not my family, not my friends in other cities and countries. I was too far away from everything. Making more money than I needed. Some folks would still call it peanuts... but I am not very familiar with much too much. I wanted to learn a new language, travel, do a sport, walk more, write more. All of this, or even a bit of this... was impossible. For reasons like lack of time, lack of company, lack of confidence...and whatnot.
A year later, I still havent managed to do all of them. But some of them, yes. I really wanted to get my hands into the soil, and *do* something. I havent yet figured out a lot of stuff.... But well... I feel much better. And so much more at peace. :)
I have my reasons. Much voiced to other people, much thought and brain stormed to myself, much planned, much convinced that I did the best thing ever. Yet, I am going to write this down. Five years later, or three actually.... I shall not be more "grown up" and be able to re-phrase my thought in more stylish ways. This is an honesty trip that I am on.
There are three broad areas that I had to look at, reason with, and accept or reject. The work, the people at work, and the rest of the life in relation to me.
A. The Work.
THe work itself was repetitive, took me no where, and fairly non challenging. I was becoming jack of all, master of none. I was doing market research, retail QSR, report writing, editing, drafting concepts, conducting trade surveys, formatting complicated presentations and drafting unnecessarily complicated excel sheets, traveling to meetings, talking faff, and speaking very perfect English, in an accent that always called for attention, questions etc. I wasn't sharpening any skill set, but I was a good Jack. Not good enough for me. I like to get my hands dirty, and work on things as the larger picture shows. Not as I know it. Management Consultancy. heh. not for me.
B. The People at Work.
I am not good, will never be good at people who are primarily "hindi speaking" but speak English, people who are from Delhi, and people who are consumeristic and ....consumeristic. I am ok with people who speak Hindi.... I am one-way ok with Hindi. I cannot tolerate the Hindi Speaking Wannabe. I am not ok having to prove my mettle with the clothes I wear. I felt stifled , and tired, of well.... everything they did. Having an ex boyfriend in the same floor made it so much worse. I remember certain days feeling defeated, sad and irked for no obvious reason.
C. The Rest of my Life.
Apart from the money, I had nothing going. Delhi was much too much for me to deal with, the stuff I did seems bizarre!! to my family, I wasnt making only one happy, I wasn't a part of anyones life...not my friends in delhi, not my family, not my friends in other cities and countries. I was too far away from everything. Making more money than I needed. Some folks would still call it peanuts... but I am not very familiar with much too much. I wanted to learn a new language, travel, do a sport, walk more, write more. All of this, or even a bit of this... was impossible. For reasons like lack of time, lack of company, lack of confidence...and whatnot.
A year later, I still havent managed to do all of them. But some of them, yes. I really wanted to get my hands into the soil, and *do* something. I havent yet figured out a lot of stuff.... But well... I feel much better. And so much more at peace. :)
1 comment:
What can I say except I related and need to find my bravado too. I'm proud of you.
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