Thursday, August 19, 2010

Changra Chick 18: Me , or my Uterus.

Two things. Two completely irrational thoughts. With VERYsound logic. ( "sound" as what is sound inmy current settings and surroundings)

The Thing # 1. This link...... http://www.behance.net/gallery/28-days-Kotex/454229.

its wonderful. Its exactly what I feel.It has mostly ALL that I feel. It's a great concept. And PHENOMENAL pics and snaps and layouts etc. And to all the men responsible..... thank you for being so sensitive. Why aren't you around in my life? And the women.... You are obviously GOOD at your work. Kudos, and thank you again.

However...I wish it wasn't a kotex idea. I know that given the advertising etc works... the holy grail of the creative , the client servicing, and the client themselves.... The idea had tobe given shape and all of that.....i wish it wasn't a Kotex based / supported idea.



The Thing #2: Maternity Leave. Im against it. In a momentary brattish- prattish way.... Yes I think its discrimination against single women and unmarried women . I know adoption is granted to single women by our constitution, and that maternity leave is allowed for adoption too.....but I wish I had the guts to walk up to my HR and tell them that im going to adopt a baby something cat, or dog next week, and please don't expect me around for the next four months.



On a more serious note, however.



I can feel delicate, confident, confused, sexy and all of that. I also feel cranky, fat, stressed and bummed. There are days when I need to grandmother,there are days when I need my father. There are days when I have issues with landlord-groceries-electrician. There are days when I DO know what to do when a fuse blows. There are days when I wish I was more around for friend. In person. There are days when I wish I knew what was the right thing to do. When I have to differentiate between what *I* WANT to do, and instead do what I SHOULD be doing. For the benefit of all around me.

There are days when I can deal better than a colleague, male or female. That makes me feel confident. There are days when I can make bread-and-eggs successfully. That makes me feel confident too. And if you are a man, don't you go thru these too?



There are days when im just a man. With issues that a man has to deal with. Car. Public transport. Bank. Time. After work plans. Tax. Girl/ boy friend/ better half. Work. People. Our minds. And whats left of it.family. the fact that "we are now grown ups. and we should, thus act responsibly". Just like him, her and you.





I have a colleague whose dad has cancer, a highly obnoxious 3 year old daughter, a rather pompous man for a husband ( ok the man is actually nice), and she lost a dog recently. She deals with driver, ayah and doctor the same way she deals with her boss, her clients and her juniors. All in a step. Why cant someone give her maternity leave ?



I knew this 38 year-old man who lost his wife ( dead or divorced , hardly matters). He had a 8 and 12 year old son and daughter respectively to take care of all of a sudden. Why didn't he get maternity leave?



I know this very brave woman who nursed her husband to his last, well aware of what the end would be. She planned his last surprise birthday party, her grandchild's birthday party. She re structured and relocated her own office, and saw a son through a highly rocky phase. She gave her100% to a dear friend who needed 130%. A book club. All in a year. And all VERY perfectly. Boy, she so needed maternity leave.



Me and my friends. Married and unmarried. We could do with some maternity leave. BecauseI want to get a dog. Because he wants to travel. Because she just got married to a whole new bunch of people , .... And really its too bewildering for her. Because he, she or me might want to take time off to attend a four month course/ workshop on interior design, criminological psychology,media studies. Because he wants to train for a marathon/ Olympics. Because I want to write my book. Because he wants to make a movie. And She wants to know if she can be a journalist, instead of a lawyer-that-she-has-always-been. Because she, me , he or you would want to nurture a new idea..... be it sociology, a restaurant, or a guitar. Because to do that is also to grow. To nurture. To give life to a little cell of an idea. To give love to a furball.



But of course, as we aren't using a uterus for all of this, we don't get maternity leave , do we ?? Or any other leave. And NOT a unpaid-for-with- certain- conditions "sabbatical."



We women, are more men most days. My grandmother and mother have been men in everything they have ever done.. Because they HAD to walk a man. I wish I was able to give them, and some other women who i really respect and look upto , a whole four month maternity leave only so that they could remember that they are women. Irrespective of the fact that some of them are already grandmothers and careered or retired. People that they are though, they would probably "man" the world in that opportunity. Bad idea.



Most women I see, are really terrible at being domestic, submissive, dumb doll or "sexy". They are wholesome people who watch their backs, discover new people,places and passions. They love their ear rings and perfume, but wear a workshirt like everyone else. Half for their convenience, half for the world's sake. ( world = men and women). The Women in my life, whatever age group.... work towards a dream, to maintain equilibrium in their reality. They have about as much help as any man has, and goes through moods and needs just as any man does. ( yes, they do.... Think what you will).the most Difficult people I have to deal with in my life, and am often scared of ( sorry... VERY scared of).. Are women . in whatever role or capacity, however close or distant.



I need you to recognize me, not always respect or love me though. As a child, as a student, as a sibling, as a friend, as a monkey, someone sensible, often sensibility-failed, as some one who cant cook, but knows my words. I too have to work out, watch a movie, ask you out for dinner, go explore or find myself a new adventure.i too need to just go have a good evening.



For the things I try to do, for the things im awesome at, for the nail polish-and-things that don't exist in my head....Im a person. Like anyone else.



I have a uterus which makes me different, but im not flaunting it in your face, so don't be condescending.and dont hold it against me.or for us.

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