This is Pujo, 2009: It has been 8 years that I have stayed out of Cal during this social hullabulloo do. And it has been a minimum 8 years that I had reclused myself during this , while in Cal. My reasons and feeling on this shall be re- routed to another post. Now, I just miss Gujarat. Very ,very much . I don’t want to go home. I don’t want home cooked food. I don’t want a story book ( I already got). I just want a walk in my farms. I want to go to Gujarat. ( descriptive and nostalgia will be next post…. Do remind me though)
This is Pujo, 2009: I am here in Gurgaon. The past one year has made me a decade older. Hence…I shall just grow older, greyer and boring-er. I hate the insipid and very un inspiring atmosphere. I hate the Gurgaon concrete and Jats . Im very wary of the Delhi- ites of all “Nationalities” ( read bong/ mallu/ punj/ bihari etc). I want a room mate ( who will not talk much, but will pay rent in time). I want company( the two tickets to the Concert so mock me in my face). I want public transport. ( I AM the aam-junta). I want to be able to make myself a cup of tulsi / cardamom cha.( this again calls for another potential post).
This is Pujo,2009 : Holiday Day 1. I slept, read, house cleaned, read, watched something, slept, showered, napped…Highlights: 1. Had a LOOOOOOng conversation with Anushree after years. 2. Had a LAAAAAAAte dinner with my aunt. Just the two of us. 3. Bought two story books.
Revelations: FB was very inactive. Which proves that ppl are MOST active on FB when at work. And when not at work, they either have a life, or have no internet access.
Revelations: 1. I am getting very fat. Sajani: watch your food from tomorrow( literally just watch it).
Discovery: I have some pending office blah that I can do . Shall I be a loser and do it???
This is Pujo,2009:I had two evil thoughts. Really Evil. I had one nice thought . it nearly became poetry.I had a fit of anger: which I just allowed to die a peaceful death. I got irritated with my in capability to do anything. And I was just incapable. I wallowed in self pity, waded through depressive modes, was wistfully nostalgic, and wonderfully relaxed(?!?!?)
I had a terrace from which I saw a sea of low cement rooftops. From the same terrace: the twilight was orangish pink behind the corporate looking buildings. From the same terrace: the night lites came on. The tall buildings took shape in light, glittered and giggled. The low lying terraces dissolved in the darkness…. And my Manhattan skyline stared at me from across the main road.
This is Pujo,2009: I wish this was Christmas. I would have written to Santa for three things then.
A) I really want a closure. That would imply three conversations ( with two different people), perhaps a few e mails. One request (not that I have the guts to do so). And reversing two moves: one that I made, and one that was made.
B) I would have wished that I get another chance. To move. To think. To re locate. To DO something.
C) I want to be able to keep a dog, and a car.
This is Pujo,2009: is this the time to finish all the pending nonsense. Like buying a new bookshelf. Like syncing all my songs. Like cleaning my wardrobe, and washing my sneakers. Like buying ( I hate hate hate shopping) the much called for denims. Like finalizing and finishing college applications. ( not a good idea).I want to do homework. Under a table lamp, with loads of pens and pencils…. And a few books opened at various pages. I want to write on lined paper…. The ones with blue lines.
Realization: I am neither there…. Nor here. What sort of a position is this.
This is Pujo,2009: please finish fast. Get over it. And allow us all to get on with our lives.
3 comments:
fantastic... I envy people who can write/speak about their present frame of mind, I have too many issues therefore I can't go into that, too many questions I won't have answers to.
I loved "This is pujo 2009: I wish this was Christmas"
Except for a typo with my name, you are a great whiner!
p.s. I loved mashi's blog I think if she published them as a collection she would get famous.
"The tall buildings took shape in light, glittered and giggled."
glittered i havve witnessed ample, but giggled.... ah.....
Giggled. Yes.
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